i am not entirely sure what i am doing. punching keys with reckless abandon. i do a lot of my thing with reckless abandon. it is both right and just to do so. my english teacher would say that that was a biblical illusion. i say it was bullshit. i think the smartest people in the world smoke the most pot. the idiots get drunk. when i am high i feel incredibly superior. he is reading what i am saying. i almost almost forgot that i was in the 1920s. how stupid. i give credit to f scott fitz and the darling dorothy parker. how horrible to type the great gatsby on this. horrible, but real. old writers used to sweat and cramp. their work was athletic and beautiful. i am a clumsy mess compared to the gold medalists. so is a newborn foal once a stumbling mess.... turns into sea biscuit. turns intoq something worth being. one day one day i i i i i will be someone worth being. i will be a sea biscuit too. i guess. i still have i , lydia carington, leave you with love. be cautious. be happy. nothing will matter as much as this moment. kiss me. kill me. love me and love me and then bury me six feet under with a song and a prayer. this proves what ernest hemmingway wrote. write drunk... edit sober. i ate so muchi ate i will leave you with less drunken nonsense than with which i began. do not forget me....... lydia carringtonlydia carringtons very first debut. i love you new york city/////qqqqqwwwqwewrrI i seee through my eyes and you see through yours I see through my eyes i see through my eyes and you see through yours wonder, what are gods fucking chances that we were born in our body with our our fucking bodymindeaammooon cartine amen