Let myself evolve into the person into the person I will be at 40...really enjoy the arbitrary number choice. I can't help but notice that the age of 40 is supposed to be a settled one; certainly a fear of mine that i am not exuberant enough in my youth. Yet, I notice that the more I hold such a worry, the worse off I become. Resistant and full of the desires of others; or the desires that float about in the thick ether of our radio wave infected bloodland. To notice a person that exists today is already too large of an abstraction I fear. The immediacy of perception is dwindled by familiar notions. Unfamiliar notions, can help dig out the entrenchants, but if they are not confronted both, the said and unsaid, the positive and the negative, the come on and the not; then you will be stuck in the whole mess. It doesn't matter which bramble of the thicket you find yourself in. Cut yourself a hole in the floor--today. :)